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Words cut deeper than a knife

So it all started when l got my first was my first day at work and l was feeling nervous, fearful,happy, anxious at the same time…l basically had a collage of feelings.
I didn’t know how my workmates would be like , nonetheless l boarded the bus and l was the first one to was not until after 30 minutes that l heard footsteps…The door opened and there stood a tall dark chocolate man dressed in awesomeness.He was Soo handsome l couldn’t stop staring.
He made me feel at ease as he had worked at the company for quite some time.well long story short we grew fond of each other.Each day with him was sweeter and shorter than the previous day.l couldn’t wait to see him the following day.

After a long wait he finally asked me out and we went outbfor a few dates it was bliss although he was a bit short tempered. One day he snapped at the waitress because she had brought his meal after mine.l didn’t pay much attention to that incident but that should have been my clue of the times that would follow.

We decided to spend one weekend out of town at an expensive resort.l was so excited and l went out shopping and got a beautiful red dress that l was going to wear for dinner at the resort.The resort was beautiful to say the list and there was fresh air. The dinner….it was lovely until he told me that the colour of my dress didn’t suit me.
I didn’t know how to respond and so l kept quiet then he continued”l don’t like your dress,don’t wear it when you are with me “.My heart sank into my stomach and l felt ahuge lump crawling up into my throat l felt like crying but l said “You don’t get to decide what l wear,I do”.I stood up and rushed ro the hotel room. He followed me there and apologized.The restbof the weekend was both sour and sweet and it seemed sometimes like the time was frozen.
We finally got back to work and l kept my distance but he kept sending me sweet letters,gifts and being all nice untill my precious heart finally melted and we continued our “romantic story”.

Why don’t you show me that you love me a bit better
“If you love me you’ll do as l say ”
You know this hairstyle makes you look really unattractive”
“I think it’s time you stop wearing jeans they make you look like a man,don’t wear jeans anymore
You are so dull you, embarass me

This is just the snippet of the words he told me anytime l got something new ,did something great or tried to improve on myself.
I never got any good comment that wasn’t covered with a million negative words.
At first l would try and fight him but one day as l looked at myself in the mirror l said in my heart,”Hes right l don’t really look beautiful,if a guy like him says lm unattractive it must be really true”.So when l wanted to get something new he would go with me so he could choose the “right item”.When l wanted to get my hair done ,he would download pics for the hairstyle he wanted to do. My opinion had been locked up in a dungeon somewhere l wasn’t allowed to say anything. I hated my wardrobe and the mirror because it reflected an image of how weak l was and what a failure l had become. I decided to defend my self one day and he raised his hand to hit me saying, “lm tired of dealing with a stupid person you don’t listen ”

So according to me #StewieLeSavage today we celebrate the sixth day of the sixteen days of activism against gender based violence with Sinqobile Shamiso Dube.

Published by According to Stewie Le Savage

Tackling your day to day issues and introducing you to new people that might inspire you. Everything according to me #StewieLeSavage a self taught writer who believes that change is possible. Best Humanitarian Blog Award Winner for 2021 under the Zim Bloggers Awards.

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